Defining New Ways to Persevere
The notion of Conscious Partnering refers to a depth of personal intimacy unique to every couple. It is a frequency, a special energetic signature shared between two people. Unfortunately, in our personal evolution we often give voice to deeply seeded patterns that if left unchecked, can create a landslide of suffering in our consciousness and self-identity.
To overcome the difficulties that often arise in relationships, a deep commitment to personal work is needed. It is important to familiarise yourself with familiar thoughts of self-denial, self-hatred, or self-defeat that might undermine true connection. Trust is built in the space of action, make time, open your heart, stop rushing, and slow it down.
Through loving inquiry, obstacles to intimacy can be overcome. Give space and ask for space. When you are tired, tell the truth, when the other needs support, be the stronghold. Stay nourished, and be transparent with your needs, weakness, and insecurities. Eradicate shame, it’s ok to ask for help, it’s ok to need help, that is the gift of groundbreaking intimacy. When you sense you are the strong one, in a given situation, accept the weight with graciousness. Nothing is permanent; not you, not them, or the union. It is with deep reverence to the other that we accept support.
Practice transparency in speech, action and intention
Day in and day out, stay committed to your own personal inner work. If the dark sides of the ego surprise you, tell the truth right away. Be transparent with your energy levels, and meet your own needs. No one can read each other’s mind. Practice clean communication and stop pointing fingers with your speech. Set a clean intention with each other and for the growth of your union. If you stray, set time aside for a ritual to come back to that loving intention together.
Practice with your partner
Meditation, working out together, outdoor activities, all have the ability to quickly shift the vibration of a situation. Do not underestimate their simplicity and potency. This needs to be a daily occurrence. If you use energy to engage in this space together, it will clear the future wake of disagreement. And quickly show you when you are on different pages and lacking empathy with one another in important moments.
Honour your differences
Do not ask your partner to be like you, talk like you, dream like you or argue like you. Your strengths are your strengths, use them in appropriate settings, be the one to lead in those moments. Know your own weaknesses, and allow their strengths to fill those holes. Allow them to lead with their best foot forward. You both need to feel accomplished and powerful in the union. Do not rob that from one another due to immaturity and control issues.
Build trust through action
We all know this platitude, actions speak louder than words. TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY in your conscious union. Make a vow to each other to quit the “lip service” and promise to call each other out if lip service presents itself. Be sensitive in this space, and respect the fact you will both fall short at different times. Genuine support calls for truth telling, followed by the appropriate loving action.
Accept conflicts with grace
You will fight, it takes a tremendous amount of emotional literacy to keep your emotions in check, and hurl them at your partner. If you feel an aggravated conversation about to happen, or it is currently happening, get your bodies in contact with one another. Shift the alienation, shame and contraction body language quickly, no matter how hard it feels in the moment. Shift the energy with radically heart opening acts.
Make time for play
Don’t fall for the “I am so busy, I don’t have time” narrative in the mind when it comes to your partner. That translates into the frequency of the union as neglect and devaluation of your lover. More than 3 times a week, connect, play, indulge, spend time outside. It doesn’t even always have to be a “date”. Always be reinvigorating each other with experiences and creativity. Expand how you show love to one another, talk about this freely, and be imaginative.